grief – Alta's World

“Banshees of Inisherin”. On grief of being ghosted by your closest friend

Have you ever lost a friend and wondered for years what happened for them to suddenly remove you from their lives? Have you ever replied the last conversations in your mind, trying to find traces of something that might have been wrong, looking for signals that you might have missed or completely refused to see? Because I did. I did and felt all of the above. And it left emptier with each new person who vanished from my life.

poem to the one i miss the most

i can feel all that rage i used to have
all that darkness, all that emptiness turning into something that, in time, might become as bright as the light itself.

letter to the ones who left, letter to the ones that remain

at the end of the day, when things get better, when things get worse, all we need is the certainty that somewhere in the world there’s a shoulder you can lean on.

Despre plecări neașteptate. Când ce e corect este, în același timp, greșit

Mă gândesc la cum ne hrănim cu dramele altor oameni. Câștigăm bani din dramele altora. Ne plătim cafeaua, vacanțele, facturile din ele. Ca și cum i-am mai lovi o dată, când deja se află sufletește cu mult sub nivelul mării. Pe cale să zacă în propriile ruine, din care vor renaște mai disfuncționali decât oricând.

On letting go. A very short letter (II)

Perhaps I won’t be able to look at your pictures for a very long time. And I somehow feel like I’m letting you go. I’m trying to hold you back for as long as I can, but you just vanish into thin air and it’s getting harder and harder and harder to reconnect with you.

A very short letter

What if I’ve forgotten the most important thing? What if somewhere inside me there is a dark limbo where all the truly important memories are heaped and slowly turning into mud?