Notes on the year that (almost) ended

2024 was yet another year I spend mostly in my own company. Sometimes resenting myself for all the mental things that keep me from making any changes. It is as my therapist once said: I am on the dock, looking at the water, longing to be out there in the middle of the sea, but I am too afraid to untie the boat. 2024 was the year I stood inside my boat, unable to untie it and just let the currents take me out at sea.

The Pondering of Being

Then your lungs start to constrict. It’s like the air is on a strike and refuses to go down your throat. Your entire ribcage starts alerting the system that something might be wrong. A glitch. Perhaps it’s a false alarm this time. Perhaps a little sleep will reset you. Perhaps you will wake up brand new tomorrow.