Love Confession on Valentine’s Day

on Valentine’s Day,

no one took me to dinner

and i didn’t received any “Be My Valentine” cards either

but I took myself to the weeky therapy session

and for two hours straight

i spoke about the small little treasures i found

deeply hidden in my heart

i thought they were stones

dragging me underwater

– so heavy that my lungs could not properly breathe

because of them

and a long time has passed

before i started noticing

the little specks of gold

that shone through

layers and layers of dark grey

and even more time passed

before the rocks revealed themselves

as small pieces of gold

– so distinct, so valuable, so uneven, yet perfect

that i only wanted to keep for myself

and once i saw them for what they truly were

is when i understood

it was not heaviness i was carrying

but the greatest, most precious of gifts

– and while it was strenuous

and while it was painful

it was also as vital as water

to go through it all

for how would i get to appreciate them for what they were,

how would i be able to discover all the gold i was hiding inside,

if i didn’t first experience the darkness i was supposed to leave behind?

so I could never take for granted

this golden soul of mine

that I must cherish before i give it to others

for free

on lovers’ day i celebrated

a love so grand, so pure, so luminous

one that i’ve never given to myself before

– a transformative process that my heart, my body and my mind had undergone

with the profound intent of becoming as One

so i could see i am Holy

so i could see that i’m Light

and i know now that

my liquid gold is what keeps me alive

and not something i should so desperately give for free

to anyone who stops to throw a glance

in my direction

today, i love me most

i am my Valentine

and therapy is where i take my soul on a date

so i could learn how to write to such a heartfelt

self-love poem