testament, a confession

i am shadows
i am bruises
i am broken ribs
from too much shouting
and blaming
and beating
and hurtling
and running away from
thoughts only half-formed

i am scars
i am embers
i am a cage with no doors
where no one could possibly get in
and nothing will ever find a way out

but sometimes i am light
that’s been cast on a wall
by a sole mistake of the universe
a light so small
so fade
so subtle
that it would be impossible to notice
even if you took a closer look

and sometimes that light
washes away all that i am
and brings with her
the desolate illusion of
new beginnings

i am a flicker of hope
that vanishes in the blink of an eye
that only leaves behind
the longing of a half-forgotten dream

i breathe all that i am
embrace it all
trying to keep everything in place
with the yellow duct-tape
left from a life
lived in the trenches
of my own solitary confinement

i am